So far, I have written about wellbeing – objective and subjective. Objectively, our wellbeing is about the things we need in order to have a good life. I have introduced a model for objective wellbeing, called the happiness calculator. I have used the happiness calculator to show that it makes sense to focus on those areas of wellbeing where we score low. How we feel – our subjective wellbeing or happiness – is more a matter of the mind. Remember the study of paralyzed accident victims and lottery winners?
I am not an expert on happiness. The subject is incredibly vast. There is a peer-reviewed publication called Journal of Happiness Studies, another called The Journal of Positive Psychology, and several others. Researchers from all over the world publish hundreds on papers sharing their findings in such publications each year. Their research continues to advance our understanding of human wellbeing.
A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies in 2023 with the title “Happiness in Old Age: The Daughter Connection” caught my eye. It talks about family relationships as sources of support for the elderly. The study is based in Thailand. It notes a cultural preference for sons as a source of old-age security. The study finds that living with at least one child is better thank living alone, which is unsurprising. What the study highlights is the importance of daughters, particularly educated daughters, in enhancing the happiness of elderly parents. It further notes that older women benefit systematically from having a co-residing daughter. Such findings are specific to their cultural context, although in this case the paper says: “Studies from Western countries have also found that daughters provided more emotional support than sons to their aging parents, especially to their mothers”. The authors end their abstract with a recommendation: “policies that increase human capital of the girl child and enhance family solidarity are likely to have long term intergenerational wellbeing benefits.” The above study is a good example of research in the domain. It confirms some of what we would think is true: that living with grown up children is better than living alone. It also told me something I would not have guessed: that living with daughters rather than sons, makes parents, especially mothers, noticeably happier.
No blog nor book can hope to do justice to the body of literature that exists on happiness studies. Moreover, any extended summary of such literature would be read by a very small number of people, which would seriously limit its impact. The reason I discuss happiness is mainly this: pursuing wealth without understanding how it contributes to our wellbeing – objectively and subjectively – can be harmful. Money can buy a lot of things. In the words of Morgan Housel, author of The Psychology of Money: “Independence.. means you only do the work you like with people you like at the times you want for as long as you want.” Having such independence has got to be nice. And yet, there is no shortage of rich people who are unhappy. They either have problems that money cannot solve or use money in ways that don’t increase happiness. A wise man once said that given a choice between advising the rich or the poor, he would advise the rich, because the poor think that money solves all problems. It does not.
Starting next week, I will switch to the topic of wealth.